The Movie That Almost Wasn't
by The Nami-chan
Summary: JupponGatana discussing what type of movies they wanna see! In this story there is a dark-gifted Kamatari, stupid Usui, and vulnerable Hennya. CHAPPIE TWO UP! DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID TO HENNYA'S FACE? R&R!
1. Talking

The movie that almost wasn't  
  
Hey! What's up? This is my first fic so don't be too hard on me! It may get crazy, or it may go calm. Humor, torture, movies, and the Juppon Gatana! How will this fic go?  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Rurouni Kenshin, I wouldn't be here typing! What if Watsuki is killed or dies? Will someone inherit Rurouni Kenshin? If so I hope it's me!  
  
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::All the Juppon Gatana except Yumi and Shishio are in their living- room-type-thing discussing what type of movie they want to see later that day. ::  
  
Soujiro: I want to see a movie about someone who was treated badly when they were young, then was rescued by an assassin. I want to see my life on the big screen!  
  
Chou: Well, I want to see a movie with swords, more swords, hot girls, and more hot girls. *whispering* Maybe some hentai.  
  
Usui: What was that Chou?  
  
Chou: Oh nothing Usui! Damn that heart's eye of his! Whispering isn't safe anymore, so I must THINK all my dirty thoughts! Heh heh heh heh.  
  
Saizuchi: I want to see an old film, made in the times when I was young and handsome.  
  
All Juppon Gatana in the room except Saizuchi:*burst out laughing*  
  
Houji: Good one Saizuchi!  
  
Saizuchi trying to keep the tone in his voice low: I wasn't joking.  
  
All Juppon Gatana in the room except Saizuchi:*deadly silence*  
  
Soujiro: Oh, er, that's nice Saizuchi. What about you Mr. Anji, what type of movie would you like to see? Comedy? You and I could use some.  
  
Anji: I'm not sure, maybe an-*puts on a Batman costume* ACTION AND ADVENTURE MOVIE! I really wanna to see Batman!  
  
Soujiro: Batman huh? I thought you liked Superman, not Batman.  
  
Anji: I liked Superman five minutes ago. Batman's my guy now. Superman's in the past.  
  
Usui, just now realizing something important: Why am I in here discussing movies? I can't see anything! *stands up in front of everyone* I bet it was all a plan to make me feel bad. You all wanted to hurt my feelings!  
  
Kamatari while smiling a mischievous smile: Why Usui, we would NEVER do that! Isn't that right guys? Tell Usui what you all think!  
  
Everybody nodding their head: Yeah Usui, we'd never hurt you!  
  
Usui: Really? You guys are seriously my friends?  
  
Everyone with fake smiles on: Of course we're your friend! Why else would we have joined the Juppon Gatana?  
  
Usui: To wreak havoc on the world and take control of Japan with Shishio?  
  
Kamatari: Uh, that's our first reason! You're our SECOND reason! Everyone knows the second reason is the best! See, Usui, we're your friends! Actually, I hate your guts. You act WAY to strong. Weakling.  
  
Usui: Okay! ^_^ I'm gonna go buy us all some crackers!  
  
Hennya: I don't like crackers. Get me some doughnuts!  
  
Chou: I want doughnuts too! Usui, could you also get me my magazine? You know, the one only Hennya and I read?  
  
Usui: Okay, that's two orders of doughnuts, your "clean" magazine, and crackers for everyone else. Is that all you wish to order?  
  
Everyone: Yes. We don't want anything else.  
  
Usui: Alright. That will be $12.45 at the window. *leaves*  
  
Kamatari: Finally, he's gone. Now on with the discussing!  
  
Hennya: I want to see the movie Chou wants to see! I've had to put up with Kamatari and Yumi WAY too much. It'll be a sight for sore eyes.  
  
Kamatari: *holds up scythe to Hennya's neck* WHAT DID YOU SAY?! I'LL GIVE YOU SORE EYES! *gives Hennya two black eyes* No one calls me ugly! Do you like your sore eyes?  
  
Hennya: No. Mommy, this thing is gonna kill me. Help me Mommy!  
  
Kamatari: Good boy, you weren't supposed to like it. Would anyone like to comment on this?  
  
Everyone except Kamatari: All bow down to Kamatari! The prettiest, er, person ever!  
  
Kamatari: *beams* Just like I raised them. I rule the world! Well, except Shishio, Yumi and Soujiro, but WHATEVER!  
  
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Yayness! I finished chapter 1! I'll be putting up chapter 2 soon! It's where Yumi and Shishio come in! It seems short to me, but it might be long to you! Read and Review! There probably won't be much Soujiro in this fic, cause I can't think of anywhere to put him. Tell me ideas in reviews. That is all. 


	2. Getting There

This chapter is mainly Shishio, Yumi, and the car ride, so I'm gonna try to put more Soujiro in the next chapter. Promise. ^-^  
  
Disclaimer: It hurts so much to say it, but, Rurouni Kenshin and Soujiro belong to Watsuki, not me. There you go; you wanted it, now you have it. Now all that's left is you paying me twenty-five dollars. I know one of you out there promised me twenty-five dollars!  
  
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:: All the Juppon Gatana are STILL in their living-room-type-thing. ::  
  
Hennya: *has been bored out of his mind since Saizuchi started telling his life long story. Let me rephrase that. Story about his LONG life.* Yo, Kamatari. When are you gonna take us to the movies?  
  
Kamatari: When I feel like it which will be in 25, 24, 23-  
  
Saizuchi: And when I turned eight, I got a wonderful surprise for my birthday!  
  
Kamatari: *hurrying* 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Okay everybody! I'm gonna go get Shishio and Yumi! Everybody get ready to go to the movies! *leaves*  
  
Saizuchi: But I haven't finished telling the story of my life!  
  
Soujiro: *just woke up from his nap (he fell asleep during the story)* It's okay. You can finish it when we get back. *whispers* Of course, nobody will be paying attention to you..  
  
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:: Shishio and Yumi are in Houji's room. Yumi is sleeping, and Shishio is trying to read one of Houji's 3,580 page long books ::  
  
Shishio: *amazed at what Houji reads* GADZOOKS! How can Houji stand to read all of this?!  
  
Yumi: *talking in her sleep* Shishio, did you just say, Gadzooks?  
  
Shishio: *jumps at hearing Yumi interrupt the silence* *thinking* How did she hear that?! For goodness sake the woman is sleeping!  
  
Kamatari: *bursts through the door which falls off because she (I'm just gonna call Kamatari she) hit it so hard. I know Kamatari's a guy* Come on Shishio, Yumi, we're to go to the movies right now!  
  
Shishio: *had immediately put the book back on the shelf as soon as he sensed Kamatari* I thought we were going to go in about 22 seconds.  
  
Kamatari: Well, Saizuchi began to tell his life-long life story. I stopped him at age 8.  
  
Shishio: Oh, I understand. You're lucky you didn't let him get to his teenage years. The people back then did some *eyes get huge* VERY, nasty things.  
  
Kamatari: Thanks for the tip. Now, come on! I want to get to the movies a.s.a.p! *looks at Yumi drooling on the couch in her sleep* Look! A Kodak moment! *takes out digital camera and takes a picture of Yumi* I'm gonna sell copies of this on e-bay! Get ready to go! *rushes out the doorway which doesn't have a door anymore*  
  
Shishio: *bursts out laughing realizing what Kamatari just did.* I should buy one of those!  
  
Yumi: *wakes up the instant after Kamatari left* *looks at Shishio* AHHH! A MUMMY!  
  
Shishio: *gives Yumi and evil and VERY dark glare*  
  
Yumi: I mean, Shishio, what happened? What are you doing?  
  
Shishio: Nothing. Get ready to go to the movies! Kamatari's gonna take us! *Yumi doesn't budge* Hurry up, we're gonna miss the movie!  
  
Yumi: Why bother? If Kamatari's taking us, then that means it's Kamatari's turn to drive.  
  
Shishio: So, if you hurry up we can sti-HOLY SHIT KAMATARI'S GONNA DRIVE!?  
  
Yumi: Yup, we're gonna miss our movies. *realizes something* Wait! If Kamatari's going to drive, then I need to hurry up so we'll get on the street faster! That way we'll get to the theater faster! That way we'll get out tickets faster! That way-  
  
Shishio: *interrupted Yumi* Shut up already! Let me finish it for you. *starts TRYING to talk like Yumi* That way we'll get our food and seats faster! Because I like to sit in the VERY middle of the theater. *starts talking normal* Now, get ready!  
  
Yumi: *finishes giving Shishio an evil stare for imitating her, then starts getting ready*  
  
Shishio: *watching Yumi get ready "quickly"* *thinking* GODS SHE'S SLOW!  
  
Yumi: *looks at Shishio's impatient expression* What are you thinking Shishio?  
  
Shishio: I was, um, thinking, er, that.I want to see the movie previews! Yeah! I, um, like the movie previews!  
  
Yumi: Oh, I thought you were thinking that I was sl-  
  
Shishio: Come on Yumi! Let's go! (says 'let's go like he did in outtakes where he spoke in a high pitched voice) *sprints out door*  
  
Yumi: Wait for me Lord Shishio! *runs and catches up with Shishio*  
  
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::Everyone's in the, er, car (it's big, okay?) well, Fuji isn't cause he's too big, but.so everyone's in the car, and Kamatari's going at a SLOW speed::  
  
Kamatari: Whatever you guys say, I'm not going to go faster than 20 miles per hour! *is going at 20 miles per hour*  
  
Chou: *is eating the donuts Usui got him, while reading the magazine that Usui also gave him* *looks up from the magazine* Come on Kamatari, have some pity, I mean, aren't you going to miss you're movie?  
  
Kamatari: No. My movie starts when I want it to, courtesy of some on-the- phone bribery.  
  
Hennya: *also eating his donuts and reading the magazine over Chou's shoulder* You threatened the theater people with their lives, didn't you?  
  
Kamatari: SHUT UP! I mean, of course I didn't. *evil smile*  
  
Chou: Well can you hurry up? I'm almost done with *reads writing on the side of the donut box* my western pastries.  
  
Soujiro: *looks at Chou immediately* Pastries, did I hear pastries?  
  
Hennya: *whispering* sh*t.  
  
Ryuta: *freezes time with her awesome authoress powers, comes out of a mysterious portal that appeared out of nowhere, and puts a sign on Hennya's chest*  
  
Sign: *reads* I'm Hennya, the bat-like buffoon, who completely ignores the rating of the story and underestimates the all-powerful Ryuta's neat-o authoress powers.  
  
Ryuta: *finishes reading the sign* Hmm, there's something missing.I know! *puts pistachio pudding all over Hennya's face, also puts cucumber slices over his eyes* Perfect! *leaves/unfreezes time*  
  
Hennya: *doesn't notice the stuff on his face or the sign on his chest* Chou, I think Soujiro's gonna take our donuts.  
  
Soujiro: *stole their western pastries with lightning speed* *eating donuts* Mmm, good. Me likey donuts.  
  
Chou: Too late. *looks at Hennya's face and sign and bursts out laughing* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
  
Hennya: *pissed* What's so funny?!  
  
Chou: *can't stop laughing* I, haha, think you know, haha, you bat-like buffoon. Haha, hey, haha, where can I, haha, get a make over? Haha.  
  
Kamatari: *wants to know what's going on and pulls car over* What's so funny Chou? *looks at Hennya's face/chest* Yay! My second Kodak moment this chapter! *takes photo with digital camera* *dark smile* Another item to sell on e-bay! *starts driving again*  
  
Hennya: I don't get it! Tell me what's so funny!  
  
Everyone: NO! HA HA HA HA HA! *quits laughing*  
  
Yumi: Kamatari, speed this car up, or else.  
  
Kamatari: Or else what? *holds up a printed photo of Yumi sleeping* Or else I'll sell copies of this on e-bay?  
  
Yumi: *has angry face* W-W-When did you take this?! *grabs photo and rips it to shreds* Not so high and mighty now, are you?  
  
Kamatari: I took it earlier today, and so what about that photo? There's plenty more where that came from. *grins evilly for, like, the fourth time this chapter*  
  
Yumi: You wouldn't dare.  
  
Kamatari: Oh, but I would.  
  
************************************************************************* Hennya will never learn his lesson, will he? Well, that's it for chapter 2! Hope you enjoyed it! R&R! Also, if any of you review and you have ideas for something Soujiro could do in the next chapter, please put it in your review. I CAN'T THINK OF ANY FOR HIM, THOUGH I LOVE HIM! That is all. * Ryuta turns off her megaphone and goes up to her wall to look at Kamatari's 'Kodak Moments', which Kamatari framed herself* 


End file.
